I don't know where to place my "X"

It's getting close to the time I have to decide. Where should I place my little "X" on Thursday? The only elections in London are for the Euro-Parliament, so the outcome is irrelevant to anything. I'm not concerned about the results, it will make not a jot of difference to my life or that of anyone else in London if the eight available seats all go to the Conservatives, Labour or even the Monster Raving Loony Party; the Parliament has no real power and individual MEPs have no effective representative role to play. For me, Thursday's election is not about the European so-called Parliament, it is about momentum in the run-up to the next general election.

I can discount four possibilities immediately. Voting for Labour, the LibDems or either of the national socialist parties, BNP and Green, is a non-starter. I'd rather urinate into the very fine mulligatawny soup I made this afternoon. So should it be Conservative or UKIP?

Voting UKIP this time is something of a two-edged sword. In the past it has been a fair bet that UKIP's strong showing in Euro elections was evidence of the degree of distaste for the EUSSR project. It achieved little in swaying the main parties towards the Eurosceptic cause in their avowed policies however it is noticeable that neither Labour nor the Conservatives has argued for further centralised power to be held in Brussels (although some of us might think their actions have achieved exactly that end). Sending a message has always been part of local and Euro elections as well as Parliamentary by-elections. The issue of one-world, post-democratic government has never been more serious and the chance of extricating ourselves from the stranglehold of Euro-fascism hasn't been greater since the 1975 referendum. A strong showing for UKIP could help to move the argument away from the pro-EU consensus dominating the official line of both Labour and the Consevatives.

I am not much deterred by UKIP being essentially a one-man show. Nigel Farage, for all the tales of his drinking and womanising, is a highly proficient operator and a good spokesman for his party's cause. I know virtually nothing about any other UKIP candidate but that really doesn't matter because, as I have explained above, for me this election is not about the European Parliament. The more the main parties seek to portray UKIP as a one-trick pony, the more attractive a vote for them appears because it allows UKIP votes to be seen for what they usually are - votes to get out of the deeply corrupt EUSSR regardless of any other policy they have.

Things are rather complicated by the MPs' expenses issue; not because UKIP has anything to do with glittery lavatory seats and "flipping" but because a vote for a fringe party can be construed as a protest vote and nothing more. The benefit from signifying disgust with the EUSSR will be diluted.

The other option is to vote Conservative, which is not an easy choice because of my firm opposition to their official line on the EU. Yet if I cast my mind forward to the general election, the wider the gulf between them and Labour this week, the greater the chance of the Labour machine becoming even more demoralised than it is already. For me there is no more important political task than to replace this bankrupt government with something better. Then I have to ask what the replacement will be and it's not exactly a cornucopia of sweetmeats. They are still wedded to the EUSSR project, they are still wedded to the concept of big government, they are still too mindful of opinion polls to put forward the sort of radical shift in power from the State to the little people that we need. Mr Cameron says some encouraging things from time to time but he said some awful things when he thought they would be popular; it is hard to see a strong vein of principle running through his various pronouncements.

So it's either UKIP to try to shift the debate firmly in the Eurosceptic direction or Conservative to try to screw down the lid on the Labour coffin. The former might reduce the momentum required to achieve the latter and the latter might be premature and allow a bounce-back by encouraging all the sad old Trots to put aside their superior disdain for the democratic process and turn out to boost the leftist vote. After all, we must never underestimate the power of religion. Socialism is the opiate of the people, nothing else can explain the current government being able to command loyalty from around a quarter of the populace in opinion polls. Hit them too hard now and they might be able to rouse the apathetic troops of the hard left.

It's not an easy choice. What is easy is to say that I will not disclose how I vote. I am happy to let anyone who cares to listen, and even more who don't, know where my general sympathies lie, but my vote is a very personal thing. It is mine. All mine. I have it because people like my father risked their lives to quash a previous plan for the EUSSR. I will walk to the polling station with a spring in my flabby step and remember how lucky I am to have the right to apply the pointy end of a stubby pencil to a piece of paper and exercise my tiny little bit of influence. With any luck I will have made up my mind by then.